


Domestic

by markipwiwer



Series: Commissions [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Breakfast, Choking, Communication, Domestic, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Name Calling, Objectification, Sickeningly Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-07-18 16:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16122758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markipwiwer/pseuds/markipwiwer
Summary: Tales in the domestic life of a trouple involving a house-demon, an accidental murderer and a literal virus.-billhaderismycriterioncollection commissioned me to write a multi-chapter fic with an indeterminate plot!





	1. Breakfast

Wilford awoke to Anti groaning and prodding him in the side. Although Wilford only really felt a vague pressure and some rustling, Anti has actually been desperately trying to push Wilford away.

Finally, Wilford shifted and Anti let out a huge sigh of relief as he was able to roll over and cradle his arm. Dark wasn’t in bed with them at the time, instead taking a scolding hot shower to counteract the coolness of his skin.

As Anti whimpered ever so slightly as he held his arm close, Wilford chuckled and rolled over to face the poor glitch.

“I’m sorry darling, was I lying on your arm?”

“Ye cut my circulation off! It’s all numb, I’m gonna have to grow a new one!”

Wilford cocked his eyebrow at the idea of Anti even having a circulation, strictly speaking. But alas, he looked over, and Antis entire lower arm was staticky in form, glitching in and out of existence sloppily.

Wilford cooed in Antis general direction, at least feigning some sort of sympathy. He reached over to Anti to pick up his arm, and began to dust it with kisses as if it weren’t shocking his lips every time he made contact.

“I can’t even feel that.”

“Well then, I’ll just have to continue kissing until you CAN feel it. You won’t recover until you’ve got blood back in there!”

Anti scowled.

“I don’t have blood.”

“But you have a circulation?”

“...yes.”

Wilford snickered and continued to plant another few kisses on his boyfriends strange, electric arm before stifling a yawn.

“Alrighty, I’m going to make myself and Darkling some breakfast, are you in the mood for eating today?”

Anti thought about it for a moment.

“Nah. I’m gonna charge with Bing.”

And fair enough. It was al the same sort of thing to Anti. Ways that different organisms similar to himself obtained energy and continued to run. He had to wonder what it would be like if Dark didn’t eat. Would he starve to death? He’s basically immortal, right? Would he just be incredibly weak? Anti supposed he didn’t particularly need this information. But it was fun to think about, no doubt. Anti enjoyed thinking about the way people were made up. 

They all enjoyed each other in that sense, not just romantically, but from the perspective that they were all different kinds of humanoid, with differing shapes and functions and basic needs. Intellectually, it was stimulating to be in each other’s company.

But it did mean that communication was important; no assumptions could really be made about each other’s thoughts or feelings or functions. And so, learning to talk openly, even if it wasn’t particularly fun or romantic, was incredibly essential to working together, as a partnership and a relationship.

-

 

By the time Wilford was done with his own shower, there was no hot water left and Dark was in the kitchen making breakfast.

“What’s cooking, good-looking?”

Dark didn’t even turn around to face Wilford before he sighed, his towel wrapped firmly around his waist.

“You know perfectly well I’m cooking eggs. We agreed upon this before you showered. And put some pants on.”

Wilford laughed heartily, before turning on the coffee maker.

“Alright, first of all, I will never not take any opportunity to use that turn of phrase, since it rhymes and you’re very good-looking, and how did you know I was naked?!”

“I can always tell when you’re naked. You walk differently.”

“Oh? How so?”

Dark paused to consider his words.

“...You walk very dick-first.”

Wilford burst into laughter again, holding his sides and attempting to replicate the walk but failing miserably as he was crippled by his own fit of giggles. Darks word choice had been comically ideal.

Dark glared a little.

“Just for laughing at me, your yolk is going to be hard.

Wilford made a high-pitched whining sound.

“Darkling! You’re an amalgamation, not a monster!”


	2. Eggs

Wilford decided not to question why the eggs were so good. Dark was no cool, after all, and there were equal chances that he’d either learned how to do it for Wilfords sake, or preformed some black magic to make them extra tasty.

Wilford didn’t mind either way. His yolk was perfectly runny, his toast was still warm and well-buttered, and best of all, Dark was sitting down and actually eating with him. Wilford had set their coffee down too, and it was by all accounts a perfect breakfast.

Wilford spoke with his mouth half full.

“I’m really proud of you for eating, Darkling. I know it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world for you, but it’s very healthy.”

In truth, the meal could have been healthier, but Dark getting some sort of food into his vaguely mortal form was better than nothing. In all honestly, he could eat cake or dirt and it would still be better than his usual diet of black coffee once a day.

“Please, Wilford. I don’t need such childish encouragement. I’ll eat when I feel like eating. It’s not a necessary thing for me. And swallow before you talk.”

At that, Wilford wiggles his eyebrows as if it had been a euphemism. Dark rolled his eyes, which was as kind a response as Wilford usually got, so he took it as a win.

Wilford did indeed swallow.

“Well, if nothing else, it’s lovely to sit down and have a meal with you. Your cooking is wonderful, too!”

Dark, once again, rolled his eyes.

“It’s just eggs. It’s really not that difficult -“

“Damien didn’t know how to make them.”

Wilfords retort was innocent enough, but Dark felt a lump form in his throat anyway. Was it the mention of the name or the fact that he might actually have to admit to putting in effort to something as basic and menial as cooking eggs?

From outside the kitchen, there were giggles from some familiar people, and Wilfords eyes lit up.

“Anti! That was rather fast, you usually take a lot longer than that.”

Anti smiled with something close to pride, as Bing appeared behind him, clearly being dragged along. Bing often felt intimidated around Dark and Wilford, but it helped that he basically had immunity since he was so close with Anti.

“Yeah, well this guy just finished work on a new port, so I don’t have to sap off him, I get energy straight from the source! And what a rush...”

Getting energy was a strange concept for Anti. He didn’t technically need it, but he was always a lot more peppy when he had it. Dark would often make him go visit Bing before a big mission to make sure he was in top shape.

Bing’s LEDs in his cheeks glowed at the compliment Anti had given. Charging ports were almost personal to androids like himself, so any improvement was a big deal. Not to mention, Anti had wrapped an arm around his waist in affection.

Wilford broke Bing’s train of thought when he addressed him though.

“Bing! Do you have access to the Googles search history?”

“Uh, yeah man, I shouldn’t really access it without administrator permission though.”

“Well, Dark here is an administrator, and I won’t be asking you anything he won’t be privy to.”

Bing looked cautiously over at Dark, who seemed to be eyeing Wilford carefully, also curious to see where Wilford was going with this.

Bing gave a nod, indicating that he was ready to proceed.

“Alright Bing, I’d like you to tell me about the search history of Darkiplier, relating to the search term ‘eggs’!”

At that, Dark cursed under his breath and shook his head, but Bing already had the command and he started talking.

“Darkipliers search history contains 17 results recently for ‘eggs’, 4 of which are about eggs used in dessert recipes.”

Wilford chuckled as Bing gained control of himself once again.

“Oh, Darkling, you really do care! Doing research on how to cook, that’s so sweet!”

Dark gave him a scathing look.

“And if you ever want to be able to sit for a sit-down meal again, I suggest you drop the subject now.”

Wilford wiggles his eyebrows and giggled.

“Now, THAT was a euphemism!”


	3. Whipped Cream

Wilford and Anti sat on the couch while Dark cleaned up in the kitchen, no doubt sulking about being outed on his research. Wilford found it absolutely adorable, sweet even, and Dark didn’t like being seen as adorable or sweet.

So, while he was scrubbing away many baked-on stains in various trays, Wilford lay with Anti in his lap, a finger twirling through the glitches hair lazily.

“What’s it like to charge oneself?”

Wilfords question came from out of the blue, but Anti was rarely surprised when Wilford asked strange questions. God forbid anyone try to understand where that mans train of thought travels to.

“I dunno. What’s it like digestin’ food?”

“I suppose I can’t really say. It’s sort of a full feeling.”

Anti cocked an eyebrow that Wilford couldn’t see, due to the way they were positioned.

“I’m gonna assume it’s a different kinda full from gettin’ fucked.”

“Yes and no. I suppose you could compare the two, if you wanted.”

“Kinda like how a good morning stretch is sorta comparable to an orgasm, just different intensities?”

“Precisely. Although I’m sure there would be people who would argue the intensities of being stuffed full of food and stuffed full of cock are one and the same.”

“Oh yeah. I don’t think I’ve meet anyone with that fetish, but I get the appeal on a theoretical level. Kinda.”

Wilford hummed.

“I’ve encountered the fetish a few times, even divulged myself.”

At that, Anti turned around, purely from curiosity.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. When you have a casual food kink, you tend to end up with people who take it a bit further. I say ‘lick whipped cream off of my body’, they say ‘dispense an entire can of whipped cream into my mouth, pinch my nose shut and force me to swallow it all.’ And I’m nothing if not an obliging lover!”

Wilford said it so dismissively that Anti choked, coughing and laughing at the same time. 

At that moment, Dark walked in, checking under his nails for any left over dishes scunge.

“Please don’t kill out Pet, Wilford.”

Wilford raised his hands defensively.

“I didn’t! I was just telling him stories about my sexual escapades!”

Dark crosses his arms, though his eyes betrayed him. He was amused.

“Which one in particular?”

“The whipped cream guy.”

Dark nodded, knowingly. Anti was crying with laughter.

“Ah, yes. A classic.”


	4. Toy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys talk about Bing.

“Alright, you’ve got me curious about Bing now.”

Anti and Wilford had been talking about vague tech-related things, as much as Wilford could comprehend that kind of information. Wilford would have been technologically illiterate if it hadn’t been for his experience in the entertainment industry, and even then he had difficulties typing sometimes. 

And as much as Wilford was curious about the Googles, only one was really approachable - Oliver, the yellow Google, a ray of sunshine captured in a metal body - but he was surprisingly innocent and struggled to answer questions in a language Wilford could grasp.

Bing was different though, because Anti was able to translate the cool, radical 90s-esque vocabulary for Wilfords 20th century brain. And he was a little less sheltered, thanks to Anti.

“What do ye wanna know?”

They were cuddling on the bed while Dark was doing paperwork at his desk.

“Is he... anatomically correct?”

Anti looked up at Wilford with a smirk and a glitch.

“Why don’t ye ask what ye actually thinkin’ of?”

Wilford looked almost embarrassed.

“Well, it’s just that I wasn’t sure if it was rude or not!”

“Rude to ask if he has a dick?”

“Y-Yes!”

Anti cackled and snorted, rubbing his face into Wilfords chest.

“Yeah, he’s fully functional! He’s even got a few bonus features!”

At that, Dark looked up from his work across the room.

“Careful now, Anti. Are you sure Bing wants this information shared around? Just because he’s infatuated with you, does not mean he wants everyone to know the intimate details of how he functions.”

“Don’t ye know how he works, Darky?”

Dark rolled his eyes.

“Of course I do, it’s my job to know. But it might be a conflict of interest if I were to blab just to satisfy Wilfords morbid curiosity.”

Anti snickered.

“I bet it’s more than just morbid.”

At that, Wilford gave Anti daggers before Anti leaned in to whisper in Wilfords ear, cupping it so that Dark couldn’t read Antis lips.

Once Anti leaned back, Wilford looked both shell shocked and... something else. Something that wasn’t too difficult to read.

-

Anti had his buzzing hand wrapped around Bing’s cock, having pushed the android against Darks currently vacant desk. Bing’s vocal programming was glitching out as the virus practically milked him of his synthetic lubrication, sending his his nerve endings into overdrive, all the while growling horrid things into his audio input.

“What do ye think Dark would do to ye if ye made a mess of his desk, huh? Would he corrupt you, or beat you so hard you needed some third party repairs, huh?”

It was more than apparent that Bing had something of a fear kink, not needing to manually activate any protocol for maintaining a ridiculous erection or leaking fake precum. And Anti knew how to rile him up, especially considering the fact that the being Bing was most intimidated by other than Google, Anti happened to be dating. Their boss, the demon entity that was Darkiplier, and Anti could have him walk in any time he wanted. Bing sucked oxygen through his teeth he didn’t typically need, but he was overheating something fierce as it was as Anti squeezed the tip of Bing’s perfectly crafted cock harder than was strictly necessary.

“Or maybe... he’d just use ye as his own fuck toy, the sentient fleshlight that self lubricates and makes the prettiest sounds when ye put yer hands around it’s neck.”

Anti followed words with actions and lifted a free hand to push Bing back even further by the neck, not needing to grip tight to send the code for the illusion of needing air and being deprived of it. Bing gasped, which turned into a broken moan very quickly as he felt his limbs almost fail several times.

“Ye know, Wilford kinda likes ye.”

Bing just about shut down at those words.

“I - what?!”

Anti cackled.

“Yeah! I told him about your magic fingers and shit and he was pretty interested in tryin’ ye out.”

Bing looked like he should have been shocked, but didn’t have the motivation.

“What?! Anti, you can’t just tell people about - gah...”

Anti had ground forward against Bing, pressing their cocks together and gaining buzzing friction, the kind of touch only Anti could give due to the way he was made, and it sent Bing into a tizzy every time.

“Don’t give me that, Bee. I know ye better than that, ye’d have fun, wouldn’t ye? Servicing Wilford and Dark and me all at once, bein’ such a good boy...”

Anti dropped to his knees as he spoke, pressing kisses along Bing’s shaft as the search engine tried desperately to buck into Antis mouth. But Anti pushed his hips back, holding him in place.

“Answer me, Bee. Yes or no?”

Anti, for all of his pushiness and generally crude nature, genuinely gave Bing a chance to back out if he really wanted. But Anti knew what the answer would be.

“Sh - shut up, dude...”

Anti smiled like a predator before he wrapped his lips around Bing’s cock and sunk down.

**Author's Note:**

> Have you got an idea or a request for a fic? Come shoot me a message at markipwiwer.tumblr.com!
> 
> If you like what I do, please consider supporting me at www.ko-fi.com/markipwiwer!


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